"I Love You Anyway"... "I Still Love You"

These are two statements that have always rubbed me the wrong way. I have never been in or witnessed a situation where these were used in a good or even okay way. I'm not sure there is ever a good point in time where these SHOULD be used.

I got into a discussion with a family member about our opposing views one day, I am liberal and they are conservative. After they yelled at me for a bit for calming stating that a lot of the things they were telling me is "right" is because society made it so (for example, heterosexuality is normal and homosexuality is unnatural), they decided it would be good to tell me that they "still love me." I'm sorry but what makes my statement something you should stop loving me for?!? Side note: I have listened to this person rant about their views on religion, politics, and money for the past year while living with them and this was the first time I spoke up.

Another time, when this seems to be used a lot is when a family member or a close friend comes out of the closet. I have never been able to fathom how anyone could stop loving someone because they came out to you as homosexual. This person is still the exact same person they were before they told you if you loved them before there should be no question to whether you love them after as well.

Another example from my personal experience is when one family member who loves Trump argues with another family member that does not, even if the family member that does not basically said nothing, the family member that does will say something along the lines of "I love you anyway." I do not see how someone who was being civil and just does not like Trump deserves to question why you would not love them.

With all of the examples above I cannot see why one would have to think or question whether they still loved someone.

NerdBlock: Horror Grab Block

After I bought my Horror Block 12-month subscription, I found out I could order a grab block for $9 (+shipping and whatnot) any time I wanted! I thought this was really freaking cool, so my mother and I have ordered a could kid ones for gifts for my cousins, nieces, nephews, and all other littles. During the last order, I thought I would buy one just for myself, it was of course Horror. themed. I had been too impatient to wait for my monthly Horror Block. I was pleasantly surprised with what I received

 My day was made the moment I opened the box! I had watched previous unboxing videos from the Horror Block and I loved how the boxes had "DONT OPEN DEAD INSIDE" once you opened it. I was a little disappointed when I learnt that the boxes had changed and the new ones didn't have that on it anymore. I didn't even care what was actually in the box after I saw that!

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I pulled out the shirt first, it is always the first thing I see because it is just the biggest. I was quite happy with this shirt. I have only watched Freddy vs Jason and the first Friday the 13th movies so I don't know much about Jason, but I now have the perfect shirt to wear when I finally get around to watching the others! I did have one negative emotion when it comes to this shirt, I have so many that this means I have to get rid of an old one! That is going to be a hard decision but totally worth it!!

The next thing I pulled out was the doll head. It looks cracked and super creepy! At first, I thought it was a light and useful but it is just a creepy looking doll head. I was a little disappointed that it really didn't do anything but my dad told me he could do some work on it and make it so it is a creepy doll head light. That saved the doll head, otherwise, I would have gotten rid of it. I don't have any shelf space for this.

Then I pulled out the Zombie Hand Backscratcher. I couldn't believe the coincidence of getting this in the box. My mother and I had been talking about needing a backscratcher earlier that day, this definitely came in at just the right time!

I was interested in this Gravestone Phone Holder when I saw it. I don't really have a good place to put when my phone when it is charging at night, I end up putting it on my bed which I have been told is a bad thing to do. I am definitely going to put this to use all the time. It has a very plain box but the item itself is quite cute with a zombie arm coming out from the grave.

I am not too excited about this Zombie Bottle Opener, I never drink from anything that calls for the use of a bottle opener. It is a really cool thing for someone who requires this type of thing. I think I will be giving this to a friend of my mom's who likes these types of things, maybe she will like it.

My First Package from the Plane Crazy Button Club!!!

I am so excited this arrived today!! I have been waiting for so long to receive it. I absolutely LOVE Disney and buttons. My bookbag and decorative fabric-covered post-it board in my room are covered with various different buttons.

The first item I pulled out of my package is something I was quite glad was included! It, more or less, described where "Plane Crazy Button Club" came from. This is what it had to say:

"Before Steamboat Willie, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse made their film debut in a much lesser known silent short: Plane Crazy. This classic story of Mickey Mouse imitating the famous CharlesLindbergh was directed by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks. Solely animated by Iwerks, the film took only two weeks to create (that's a rate of over 700 drawings a day!) A test screening was premiered for a theatre audience on May 15, 1928; however, it failed to pick up a distributor.

Plane Crazy wasn't officially released by the Walt Disney Studios until 1929. By then, Mickey and the gang had already won the hearts of American viewers through the archetypal shorts such as Steamboat Willie, The Gallopin' Gaucho, and The Barn Dance. Although responsible for creating one of the film's most iconic duos, the impact of Plane Crazy is often a surprise to many."

I thought this was a fantastic thing to include. I had never even heard of Plane Crazy, so this was new to me. I just thought it was something random the people had come up with. Now that I know where it is from I am excited to check it out. I hope it is on YouTube! (Edit: I found it!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed0X9vYdGE8 ) The card also had where to follow them on social media. I am now following them on Instagram, and I subscribed to their YouTube channel.

After I had read what was on that card, I dumped everything out of the padded envelope into my lap, and this note was the first thing to catch my eye.

I am not sure if I am correct to assume that this was handwritten but it looks like it is to me. Whether this was handwritten or not I think it was a very epic personal touch. I loved how it had my name on it, and it felt like they were actually talking to me as a person and not an automatic computer generated message! I am already getting ready to frame this for my wall; it isn't often that I get things with my name spelt correctly! (I know that it is spelt right because I had to put it in my mailing address, but I still find it awe-inspiring!) Thank you so much, Peter and Sarah!

The next thing I saw was this beautiful, huge sticker. I adore stickers! (I have a rather extensive collection [read as obsession] of stickers.) So not I have buttons, Disney, AND stickers!?! My day is made! I think this is a beautiful and perfect sticker with spring right around the corner (although here in Canada we might be getting more snow). I knew immediately that these were the flowers from the Alice in Wonderland animated movies, but when I asked my family if they knew what they were from they had no idea!! I was so surprised! I used to watch this movie with my parents all of the time. I still love it and now have their song stuck in my head. I guess it is time to watch that movie again.

I really love the flower theme for spring! It makes the inside spring even if the outside is having some weather mood swings, one day it is spring weather and the next it snows! I love how there is a Beauty and the Beast button, the rose under the glass. With the Beauty and the Beast live-action remake coming out next month, I find that it is an excellent addition. I will probably wear it when I go to see the movie! My younger brother had to fight over the Wall-E button. It was a movie we both watched all of the time when he was 3-5 years old, up until the disk stopped working. I love this addition because this plant in the boot is a very important meaningful thing from the movie. It is more than just a plant in a boot it is strength. Of course, the Rapunzel flower had to be included, a magical flower that helps to heal definitely fits in with the flower that represents strength. With the world, the way it is strength and healing and love is definitely something that is needed.

The mystery button definitely took me a few moments to get where it came from since it has been so long since I watched Haunted Mansion, but this definition gives me a reason to watch it again. I love the Haunted Mansion, I am slightly disappointed that I did not get it right away. I like it, in theory, I love the movie, and I like buttons, but this specific thing I am unsure if I like it. I am still on the fence.

This is my Plane Crazy Official Member Badge!! I love the fact that they have these member badge things. It is a great addition for this company. I love the name, the meaning behind the name, the letter that looks handwritten, and now these badges. This is just a wonderful couple of people that created something I am glad to have subscriped to. I cannot wait for my next one!

Well, that is all for this one. I love Plane Crazy Button Club! I have so much to check out now!
Have a terrrrific week everyone!

My First Horror Block!: January Block

I finally saved enough money to buy a year subscription of my favourite themed nerd block, the Horror Block! I was so excited when it finally arrived in the mail! I have watched many people open previous blocks so that really just added to my excitement. 

I will now be talking about what I got in my box and how I felt about them. So if you haven't opened yours or you don't care about it, or anything now is a good time to stop reading.

At the bottom of the box there was a Nerd Block Magazine, and in the middle it had a section that talks about the various items in the box. So after I talk about what I thought of the item, I will drop in what was said in the magazine.

The first thing I pulled out of the box was the t-shirt since it was the biggest thing and the first thing I saw. It was a shirt from The Mummy. I have never been a huge fan of The Mummy, and when it comes to shirts designed like this, I have never really been a fan. I have gotten many of these shirts in my lifetime, and my opinion of them has dropped drastically since I was 17. I just think they are goofy teenager shirts for people who are trying to seem tougher than they really are. That is just my opinion of course.

The magazine said this: "The Mummy Shirt: We've travelled back in time to bring a small piece of ancient Egypt to modern day. Pop on this The Mummy T-shirt to feel like you can be in two realms at once. You'll be glowing with excitement, guaranteed!" 

I don't think I will be keeping this. I will probably be giving this to someone who I believe will like it.

The next item I pulled out of the box was the Jason Mask Air Freshener for my car. I was really excited when I saw this item. I had just watched Friday the 13th recently, and I don't have a very fun air freshener for my car. The fact that I will now get to bring my nerdy love of horror to my car. 

This is what the magazine said: "Jason Mask Air Freshener: Hang this fabulously freaky Jason mask air freshener on the rearview mirror of your car. Not only will it freshen up your interior, it will scare the sh*t out of your passengers too. Now that's killing two birds with one stone."

I will definitely be keeping this item, I cannot wait until my car is out of the shop so I can put it in my car.

The next item was the Silence of the Lambs Beanie. I absolutely love this movie and the other Hannibal movies. I also don't have many winter hats, so I appreciate that part of it. Although the hats I have I like WAY more than this one. I would talk about them, but that can be saved for another post, I have so many hats it would work for a whole post. 

This is what the magazine said about the hat: "Silence of the Lambs Beanie: Hellllllloo, Clarice! Nick Ablebea holds the information you seek. It may seem like a vague clue, but it will break open the case. Can you uncover the truth? Only time will tell, but pop on this beanie and give that criminal hell!"

I don't really like how small "the silence of the lambs" part of the hat is but I still like the hat, and I will probably be wearing it every day until the end of Canada Winter. 

The next item was a Resident Evil replica S.T.A.R.S. magnetic pin. The box said it was for the 20th anniversary. Now I have never watched anything Resident Evil, but I promised my brother I would keep this pin badge thing and watch the movies before I decide anything. (Yes at the moment it is on my Bananas in Pyjamas robot thing.)

This is what the magazine had to say: "Resident Evil Replica Badge: This badge is so authentic it will magnetize you. Put it on when you join Tyler Hamilton and the Raccoon City Police Department in the fight against the zombie outbreak. Will you be able to save the city from the T-Virus and the Umbrella Corporation?"

I have a feeling I would understand everything in the paragraph if I had actually watched anything from Resident Evil before hand.

Next was a drink cup that was basically a mason jar with a handle, on the jar drink cup was a sign that said that it holds poison. I thought it was pretty awesome and it goes well with my mason jar with a lid that has a "witches brew" sign on it. 

This is what the magazine had to say about the cup: "Poison Glass Mason Jar: Show your guest that you've got a handle on entertaining and serve then up a fresh batch of poison in this EXCLUSIVE Poison glass mason jar. They will be so into admiring the beauty of the glass that they won't know what hit 'em."

I definitely love this cup, and I cannot wait to have the chance to show it off to my friends!

The next item was an Amity Island Swim Club pin. I was so excited when I saw this pin! I love the first Jaw movie, like to the point of cheering for the shark. I also really love pins, my bookbag is covered with them. I actually had to remove one to make room for this one. I loved the way it looked with the cardboard lifesaver that I decided to keep it on the pin.

This is the paragraph from the magazine: "Amity Island Pin: Pass around your pin through the crowd as you recount tales from your past with the Amity Island Swim Club. It will help you paint a vivid picture of what happened in the water and bring the story to life. So much so, listeners will never want to swim again."

I actually cannot wait to show my friends my new pin, I found out recently two of them also enjoy horror movies, so I am really hoping they know what the pin is from. 

The next item is a My Bloody Valentine valentine's day card. I think this is one of the greatest valentine's cards I have ever seen. This is a perfect time to have it as well. Unfortunately, I already found horror themed valentine's for my friends so this card will just have to wait until next year, or become a great addition on my wall. Who knows.

This is what was said in the magazine: "My Bloody Valentine Card: What better way to show someone you love them than with this gruesome My Bloody Valentine card? Ask them to be your Valentine, then whisk them off to the Valentine's Day dance for a night of dancing and terror"

How amazing is this card? I love it and might make copies and spread them around my school in secret places for the hell of it. 

The last item was the Rue Morgue Magazine. I have actually gotten issues of this magazine before and I love it! It was a big contender to what helped me get so into the horror genre. It was my favourite magazine for the longest time. I love that I have another one to read now. I can't wait to read it cover to cover a few times before passing it on to my brother so he can enjoy it as well. 

This is what the Nerd Block Magazine had to say about this magazine: "Rue Morgue Phantasm Book: Follow the behind-the-scenes tales of the Tall Man and the Morningside Mortuary in Rue Morgue's Authorized Phantasm Film Companion. This edition includes interviews and never-before-seen photos of one of the horror genre's most esteemed franchises and terror."

This is so amazing! Sounds like a good page turner.

That is all from this month's horror block! I loved every second of the unboxing, and even of typing out my thoughts. I can't wait until next month's block!!

Have a terror-ific week. Peace!

Just Some Thoughts

So I noticed something interesting recently. You see, when a smoker tells someone never to start smoking, they are considered to be wise and praised for giving good advice. I can understand why people think this way, I mean if anyone should know how bad smoking is it would be the individuals who are trapped in their habit. 

What I want to know is why that is only with smoking? 

Let's say that a self-harmer tells another person to not start doing that type of thing they are seen as a hypocrite. Whether they have stopped or not. Both smoking and self-harming could kill you, and I know that both are difficult to quit once you really get into it. Yet, one is seen as wise.

It is the same if you are a procrastinator, even though, it appears like that is highly typical. If I tell someone not to procrastinate and to do their homework, I am met with irritation. I know that it is silly for ME to tell someone else to do their work when I procrastinate. I may procrastinate, but I always hand my work in on time. Also, procrastination has varying levels. I can go from "finishing 5-page paper the night before it's due" to "writing/studying for half an hour and then reading/video gaming for half an hour". Sometimes it is about not having the energy to do the work. I know I have to, I know I can do it, but I do not have the motivation or energy to do it. I need a break or some time for myself before I am forced to start doing work. When I tell someone not to procrastinate it is not because they should do it even though I am not. I tell them because I know how stressful it is to be stuck with all of this work and worry that you will not be able to finish it time. I also know that it is really hard to start doing something when one really, really does not want to. Some have the control to force them to do it, I am not one of them, but I will always suggest it and support you. I never want others to be stuck last minute stressed like I have done to myself so many times. I wish I could have the energy and motivation to do my homework and studying right away but I do not. If you do not as well, let's support each other and see if that helps. I am willing to change and try anything. Are you?

I'm Canadian But....

When I woke up this morning, I heard what I once believed was unthinkable, Donald J. Trump had won the election and will be the next president of the United States of America.

As a person I feel terrified with what is on the horizon. As a woman I feel utterly crushed; does America hate women so much that they would prefer to have such a hateful man running their country?

Today feels so unreal. I just wanted to go back to bed, wake up, and see better things. This election was not entertaining or funny, it was downright terrifying.

My first class today felt eerily quiet. I kept looking around for the Dementor that was sucking the happiness out of everyone. It was only a college English class, but for a few moments... Everyone seemed to feel the same way. They all feel extremely uneasy with the decision, but hope with all of their might that something good may happen. Although, it is a pessimistic type of hope.

I have heard so many people mention wanting to bring American relatives to their homes to "protect" them. I have heard people say they are going to move to Europe to get far from what will happen. The Canadian immigration site crashed! Knowing all of this, I cannot understand how many can not understand the fear. The fear is present, and even if this man cannot actually do what he wants, his words and hate speech bring forth hate crime. He may not be able to shut down mosques just because, but that will not stop his aggressive followers from burning them down.

In my Canadian Government class, we had our discussion class; the election was the main topic. We started class by watching Hillary's statement live. I am positive that I am not the only person that teared up or even cried. She was so gracious and graceful with her words. My heart was breaking so much more as she spoke. She may be a crook, but I was definitely with her. I don't know how to feel after this. She just seems so much better than Trump; this just adds to my thought that America hates women so much that they would prefer the hate filled man.

After we had watched her statement, our teacher had us talk about what we thought about the voting and party systems in the United States. A lot of people in my class seemed to think the same things about this voting stuff. A lot of them thought about the "woman" aspect; many people believe that Hillary being a woman screwed her over for a lot of votes. Now they also believe that many voters will not openly admit that it was an issue but that it was more of an underlying issue, the fact that women were not considered people until the 1930s drives this point home. A few of the men in my class came up with the notion that the polls were very wrong because of how the media portrayed Trump causing people to be silent with their political opinion. The media was screwing with this election, does not chance the fact that this election was the most terrifying one I can remember. 

So far both of the classes I have participated had a dark cloud hovering over all of us. This was a major loss to the whole Earth whether you believe it or not.

PLEASE tell me I am not the only one that has issue with this image

PLEASE tell me I am not the only one who sees a really BIG issue with this image? 

First off, no it is NOT a woman's job to earn a man's respect. Women and men, both, really don't have the job of bending over backwards to earn the respect of others. Frankly, you have the right to do whatever you want without seeking another's approval. The only approval one truly needs is their own.

Second, no one really has to give you respect for any reason. No matter how worthy a person is of another's respect, there is always a chance it will not be given, for whatever reason.

Third, how come I never see one with the genders reversed? Why is it only up to women to "earn" respect? Just a thought, I'm not saying make one.

If you are ever going to live with a family member you do not usually spend time with, look into the situation before you dive in. I started living with my grandmother recently. I was surprised to witness my grandmother as very racist, homophobic, and very hateful. I have heard her complain about people in my family who have not baptised their children leaving the decision up to the children, and she has not only just complained but has gone as far as to almost entirely plan and set up a baptism before informing the family member. Although, if you try to tell her how to live her life or suggest something for her you are officially the worse human ever. Not to mention the fact that I am pansexual and listening to the way she says homosexuals are unnatural, and a waste just kills me. When she was talking like this around my aunt’s children, my aunt told her to watch her mouth and not talk like that around her kids. When I told my mother about how it made me uncomfortable and sick, she said just to keep my attraction to girls under lock and key for a while and ignore all other comments from my grandmother that are hateful. I try to go to another room to avoid the hate, but it seems just to fill the whole house and follow me. I don’t now what to do in this situation. I am new to the city so I don’t know anywhere I could go, and I have to stay here for school. I just feel stuck.

Odd Thoughts of Mine

I find myself thinking about what would people say and do if I went missing. Would it be a big thing? Would everyone who knows me go looking? Would individuals who don’t even know me go looking just because they feel sorry for my family? What would people say about me? I feel like I might think about this the way most girls think about planning their future weddings or proposals. I believe that it is because of all of the crime shows I watch, they always have the part about the victim going missing and how many people looked for her and what they said sometimes. Most of the time they mention that the victim was a joy to be around, that no one would ever want to hurt them because of how they were a ray of sunshine. Would people call me a ray of sunshine? Or a pest that made so many mistakes? I can see myself being the latter, but would people say that or would they say nice and say I was beautiful and great and blah, blah, blah, just because I am missing?  I’m not sure which I would prefer to hear. I think I would want people to be honest about what they think of me and if I end up being a ray of sunshine to someone that would be fantastic. I believe this is like when people think about what will be said about them at their funeral. I have only seen it mentioned three times in the media, on Glee, on Mrs Brown’s Boys, and on/in The Fault in our Stars. But maybe this is just a way people show that they are not afraid of death or dying? I think I am not scared of dying per say I just really don’t want to. I don’t want to know what happens after, everyone is either on the side of Heaven/Hell, or the side of you are just dead, and that is it. I’m not sure I want either to be right, especially those that say I am going to hell for eternity. When I think of life after death, I think of things like what happens in Corpse Bride or The Book of Life or maybe even Beetlejuice. All of those who are dead seem to be quite happy with their afterlife; they seem as though they have more life in them than when they were alive. Why would I trade something like that for gone-ness, a place full of white and goodness that only the right may go, or a location of fire where the wicked goes to be forever punished. But of course anytime I mention this to someone they get mad at me, I never really understand why. I am not someone who goes around and tells other’s their ideas of the afterlife is wrong or evil so why does it seem okay that people can tell me mine is? I believe I put enough thought and ideas behind my idea that it should seem like a good choice. I don’t understand people; I don’t think I ever will. Anyway, those are just some of my more morbid thoughts.

Sometimes I think I'm Completely Crazy

Hello Internet Audience,

I felt like opening up on here again; I'm starting to think I may be putting too much online, but I don't care at this point. You see I have been hella emotional, mostly because my period is like a month late but not the point. The point is, I try to be a non-emotional person but that is hard to do when I end up crying because someone buys me a coffee! I have no idea how to get my hormones to stop being out of wack. I have tried exercising, birth control (which it turns out I cannot talk anymore because of the symptoms that occur), being alone, being surrounded by people I love, and nothing works! It is bugging the hell out of me.
Of course, the worst part is now is when everyone wants to talk about the fact that, at this point in my life, I do not want to have children ever. First off I am only 19, I feel like it should be more of an issue if I wanted children right now. I may change my mind years from now when I feel my life is ready for kids, plus I am totally comfortable with being with someone who already has children.

Does God Really Feel Like That? Really?

A year ago this September I moved out of my parents home, I realised quite quickly that doing it without involving my parents' knowledge was the wrong way to go. But ever since school ended and I had to move back home I have heard non-stop about how awful I am for moving out, how all of my brother's anxiety and mental issues are my fault. I have had no issue just dealing with them saying that but now they have brought religion in. My parents and I normally have differing opinions about all religion topics but now they are telling me that my jaw pain and having to pay for a $40 mouth guard is God's way of punishing me for moving out. Just because a year ago I had all medical issues covered doesn't mean that I should have ignored my doctors, friends, and counsellors telling me that staying at home would be bad for my health. If God didn't want me to move out he shouldn't have made it so "bad for my health" to stay there. This is all so frustrating. 

Just Ranting 

Well hello again, it has been a hella long time since I last wrote here but with how I see my next year and so going I feel like I will be ranting my thoughts a lot more often. I have too many thoughts and I am about to go move in with my grandmother who is a major Donald Trump supporter, I on the other hand am very anti-Trump. We got into a huge argument about politics and stuff not too long ago, it got to the point to where I had to leave the house and go on a long walk. I will have to survive a whole year of this while I am going to college for a Law Clerk program, from September 6th until August 25th. Encase I go crazy I will write out the process from beginning to no more sanity here, I think it will be entertaining. Wish me luck y'all.

I've Been Gone Way Too Long

Well I am now in my last year of college, on to being a Early Childhood Educator. So much has happened and so much has changed. I can honestly say I am ready to hibernate for winter.

So far I have failed and passed classes, I have made new friends and also lost those new friends, and so much more. College is crazy with changes. I don't live at home anymore, it is a mind blowing difference. I can honestly say I am glad I did go through with going to college, even if I do have days when I wish I wasn't here anymore. My Christmas Holiday is starting this week which is exciting and also nerve wracking as that means I am so much closer to being done college. This is worse than when I finished high school, after I finish this no more school starts in September I just right into working somewhere.

That is going to be crazy like 15 years of school and now it is going to end. That is going to be a big change!

I enjoy these changes AFTER they happen, I learn a lot but before and as they are happening it is a very stressful experience that I would like to just skip. Also growing up sucks! There is so much more to do now, I pay bills and do taxes! It is crazy different than last year. Last year all I had to worry about was phone bill now I have rent to watch out for and I still don't understand taxes.

I would love to be sitting in a high school math class right now, that was something I could do. I miss math. Here is a tip for the future if you are really good and enjoy a certain course find something in college that actually has that course within it! Don't do what I did, I love math and went into a program that is all English class type work. English was my worst subject!

Another great tip, if you have many fears DO NOT move to the closest city that has all of that within it! I was only thinking about school when I did that now I sit in my room a lot, listen to all the sirens, and try to guess which it goes with. Fun times.

I Know Some Really Amazing People!

Remember when I said I lost and gained some friends... well I got back my lost friends. I really owe them a lot. I was an absolute bitch to them last year. They forgave me right away. I have so many great friends now. I used to be surrounded by the people who constantly bullied me and now it's all of the people who love me. I had 2 friends find out about me not eating very much food... for the past 5 years... and now they are making sure I eat something for every meal. I don't really like doing this but I appreciate their caring-ness. I found some people who I have never talked to are some really awesome people to know. They are some really great friends... even if we don't hang out all that much.

I also have a boyfriend now. He is amazing and perfect. I love him more than anything and everything. I know people are going to say that since we are only teenagers and don't know what love really is or something like that... well screw you. I know how I feel. I love him and I can't see myself with anyone else. He is my everything and he is what is bringing me out of my depression. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he is always happy no matter how things turn out. Hopefully we will get married and have a big family <3

Tiz all for now... peace out peeps :)

I have done literally nothing lately. I try to do things and just end up procrastinating so much that I just end up doing nothing until I fall asleep.

I mean I go on Tumblr all of the time but I don't really think that counts as doing something. Does it?

Picking what collage/university to go to has just been getting harder as more and more keep coming to my school to do presentations. I might have a good idea on where I want to go but the recommended grades are higher than my averages and the cost is really high.

Money sucks! I say we go back to trade and I just help around the school to "pay" for my classes and residence.


To those who have gotten through this without stressing...

 

 





High-5! Siriusly you are epic if you can do this without freaking out. I've had countless panic attacks and I'm only in my 3rd week of school!!!

 

 

 

Oh well, that all for now bye! Peace

Grade 12, University/Collage, Link Crew... Help?

I've just started grade 12 and my classes this semester are Advanced Functions, Physics, Biology, and Link Crew. I have to start thinking of what Collages I'm going to and what courses I will take. As a Link Leader I have to help the grade 9s. It feels like a lot for me. I'm not ready to grow up!

I tried talking to my mum about collage a couple days ago and she started balling. She's not ready for me to go, every day she makes up a bunch of little useless reasons as to why I can't go. My favourite reason is when she said "you can't go until you teach your little brother how to make coffee." My little brother is 6, I don't think I will be letting him near a coffee maker anytime soon. 

All of the people I've gone to school with since grade 2 or grade 8  are already looking at books from the certain collages and universities they are interested in. 

People have always told me that the high school years are the hardest and that when they are done I will feel much better. I'M NOT FEELING BETTER! I'm having break downs almost every night. I'm not ready to say goodbye to all of these people. I've lost friends but gained so many more and they aren't going to be going to the same collage as I am. I don't want it to end after this year I want it to go on. I want to stay with these people. 

My mood is probably going to get worse as the year goes on and we start going on University/Collage tours. 

ON another note my laptop broke a week ago and my computer guy finally fixed it. I'm excited to get it back. Every one thought the screen had died but apparently it was something else. 

Well that's all for now. Peach out readers

So many books!!!! *spoilers*

I just got back home from camping for 4 days! I brought 6 books with me and finished 4 of them!!! All I pretty much did was read in the cabin, my mum was not impressed. She actually yelled at me several times while I was reading Mockingjay and Tuck Everlasting. Anywhooooo here is what I thought of each book!
 (I wrote these "reviews" while I was reading the books at the cabin so if they suck I am eternally sorry! Forgive me?)

Catching Fire

   Ok so I siriusly love this book! I have made up my mind and I love this series! I also owe my cousin Ella a BIG thank you for getting me hooked on the books! I don't particularly like how Katniss didn't talk to Peeta at all after they got to the Victor Village. I think a simple "Hello, how are you?" every once and a while would have been nice. They saved each other in the Hunger Games a few times it is the least EITHER of them could do. President Snow, yeah I hate him with a freaking passion!!! I don't think I can narrow down what I hate about him, lets just say everything! Does that work for everyone? Okay good. The Quarter Quell's challenge thingy was so damn shocking! It was set to perfectly for Snow if you ask me (not to mention Katniss said something like that in the book). Cinna's arrest/capture made me so mad. I wanted to climb into the book and save him so badly! All of the Mockingjay stuff throughout the book is pretty cool. The Mockingjay is everywhere! I'm impressed. Does Katniss really love Gale? Yeah I don't think so, it's hard to tell but I honestly don't think she does. Does she love Peeta? Maybe. Possibly. I won't really know until I actually finish the books. I thought Haymitch's plan was a good plan, a nice plan but I don't like that Wiress was killed! Just uncool man!!..... WOMAN! Then of course to top it all off Peeta get's captured. What is going to happen to Peeta!?! Some one better rescue him damit!

Mockingjay

District 12 got destroyed! To be fully honest it sounds like a place I would love to see. Even with the skulls and burnt bodies (I sound psycho!!!). It just sounds really interesting. But if it were to happen to my small town I would probably have a major breakdown, I'm surprised Katniss didn't. She is one tough cookie! District 13 is pretty cool with their underground township. I don't really trust all of those people though, something just doesn't seem right. Peeta's interviews shocked me, I didn't know what to think. I can't imagine what they could have done to him to make him say that stuff. The stuff about the prep team shocked me a hell of a lot since they got beaten up for trying to get bread. I knew something wasn't right about district 13. The hospital and bombing in district 8 had me on the edge of my seat. In the end I was devastated  that all of those people were murdered but proud of Gale and Katniss for going into the fight and helping a hell of a lot. When the mockingjays showed up around Katniss and Pollux was a very touching scene, especially when Katniss started singing. When Peeta's blood was splatted on the tiles I might have gotten slightly scared for him and may have shrieked.... I'm a fangirl, we live as long as the characters do don't judge! Finnick's story about how had to get his body sold was very upsetting (I didn't cry or anything though), I wanted to give him a hug but I don't think that would have helped much. I thought the worst was over for a while and Peeta was back and Katniss was going to be happy until... he freaking chocked her and said she was a mutt! I don't know what I would have done in that situation! Probably freaked and had a mental breakdown. I think that having a bunch of people to just do camera shots of wrecking things was kinda stupid and a little pointless but a nice group of people either way. So many people died in this book! Finnick was just starting to have a family, uncool! When Katniss killed Coin I was very happy. I didn't like or trust her at all. Every time she showed up it felt as though I was reading Animal Farm, Snow would be the Jones's and Coin would be Napoleon. When Primrose got exploded I died it was too much! I loved the epilogue though. I liked how they didn't magically get better but I wish they had.
I understand why there are going to be 4 movies instead of 3 when I reached chapter 11 I thought I had read half the book.

Tuck Everlasting

I've read this book before for a school project I think. It was hard to stay focused enough to read the whole thing again but I did  it and all I could think of was if I would have drunken from the fountain and lived with the Tucks forever. I may be terrified of death and never want to think of it but I don't think I could handle watching the ones I loved growing and changing around me. I don't think I could handle an eternity of being 17, it just would work for me but I wouldn't pour the water out on a frog!

Number The Stars

I started reading this book in school once when I was in like grade 4 but we never finished it. I never knew why and now that I have finally read this book I still don't understand why we didn't read it. It's a great book! The code phrases the people used were very interesting and sometimes hard for me to decipher. I really loved how everyone in Denmark were doing so much to get the Jews to Sweden safely. I thought it was great when I found out that part of the story was true! I also liked how the handkerchief part was true also, Where they put dried rabbit blood and cocaine on the handkerchiefs to tamper with the dogs smelling so they wouldn't detect the Jews hidden away. At the very back of the book the author talked a bit about 2 people G. F. Duckwitz and Kim Malthe-Bruun. Duckwitz was a German official who told the Rabbis to warn their people that the Nazis had gotten a hold of the people who warshed at their synagogue   lists are were going to 'relocate' them soon. Kim Malthe-Bruun was a young man part of the Resistance. He was captured and executed by the Nazis when he was only 21 years old. In a letter he wrote his mother the night before he died the author found this paragraph and I think it's amazing. "... and I want you all to remember      that you must not dream yourselves back to the times before the war, but the dream for you all, young and old, must be to create an ideal of human decency, and not a narrow-minded and prejudiced one. That is the great gift our country hungers for, something every little peasant boy can look forward to, and with pleasure feel he is a part of       something he can work for."




That's all Loving readers. Peace Out!

The Fault In Our Stars & The Hunger Games

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

This book is amazing ! I loved it so much!!!!! The characters are so good. The relationship between Hazel and Augustus was so touching. The trip to Amsterdam was so sweet but that's around the time when I started crying. I tell people I started crying on page 272 but that's only when the tears started hitting the pages. I felt so sorry for Isaac when girlfriend dumped him right before his operation. But now I know what I'm going to do for my friends when they are upset. I liked the line when Hazel notices that she is the healthiest person out of the 3 (her, Augustus, Isaac). I am now always looking for John Green books anytime I go into any store that sells books! Oh also anytime I see 2 "okay"s, 1 after the other, in book now my feels die a little bit more. Thanks for the amazing book John Green.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I read the whole book and watched the movie in the same day and they were good!Yeah I know it’s a late start to the trend but I’ve never been one for following trends. I didn’t even think about reading the books until my younger cousin Ella tossed me the book and I became hooked. Next week she is expecting an e-mail from me telling her how I felt about the series… Honestly I don’t know how I felt about it. I don’t know if I like the book more than the movie or the movie more than the book. I don’t really know if I like or dis-like the series. It is a fact that I am going to stick with the series until I finish all 3 books and watch all 4 movies. Maybe then I will have a real idea on how I feel about this series but for right now I have no clue how to describe how I feel about it. So don’t expect me to go running around shipping Katniss with Peeta or Gale. (just between you an me after the movie I am hoping for Peeta. I guess I'll just have to finish the books to find out what happens.)


Tis all for now Loving readers! Peace!

Maleficent

When I was a kid I was always very upset when Maleficent's plans were foiled! It's not like I liked her, I just didn't hate her and was routing for her to win. 

When she captured Prince Philip I was slightly proud of her. She had actually caught him! Then those pesky fairies had to show up and help him escape! I loved her plan. I wanted it to happen. But nooooooooo Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather had to get him out! Then BAM!

 

 

Maleficent was a huge dragon! But she still couldn't defeat Prince Philip! I was very mad! I mean come on your a dragon just eat him or something!

 

*sigh* Yeah I was an odd child.

 

That's all for now Peace Out!!!

Warped Tour!!!

I went to Warped Tour on the 5th of July (I know that was a while a go but this site was being a dick and wouldn't save my post)!!!!

 

If you haven't gone, and you like the music that is played there, you NEED to get on that!!!! It was the most fun I have ever had. I moshed for the first time, I participated in a circle pit, got kicked in the face by a dude crowd surfing (not a highlight of my day but I still had fun), and so much more!!!

I saw some of my favourite bands and some I hadn't heard before play.

Moshing Crowd

 I saw Crown The Empire, Blessthefall, Woe Is Me, Sleeping With Sirens, Bring Me The Horizon, Diemonds, and more. I didn't really like Diemonds and I believe that Crown The Empire and Diemonds should have switched stages.

I'm not usually one for crowds but when I was in a huge crowd full of people that liked the same music as I did and were full of excitement to see them I felt at home.

Everything There was amazing the food, the music, the merch tents, the fans, and the clothes that fans were wearing. The clothes were so cool! Some people went all out. I loved it so much!

So much greatness happened that day that it is hard to write it in one post.. I might make another with the help of my "bodyguards" that went with me.

 That's all for now PEACE OUT!

(btw when I say "bodyguards" I mean my dad and uncle Myles, they are huge guys. My mum told them to protect me from mosh pits {yeah they didn't} so I called them my "bodyguards")